kevin hart ♥

one of THE funniest things i've ever seen.

kevin hart - "i don't like ostrich's"

a mix of things

"Of course, the universe is gradually slowing down and will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all its thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavours ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context." ~Bill Bailey (i ♥ him)


i found some time for sewing yesterday. i really wanted to do bags, puppets or thai trousers, but needed more time and fabric for that, so instead i made two pouches! it was much fun making them, with lining and everything. :0)



i read a book in spain called "bad things (don't just happen to other people)" by michael marshall, people were raving on about it, how good it was and what not, and i found the book a real disappointment (and i'm easy to please), the story didn't really resolve, throughout the book i kept wanting to understand what had exactly happened and then by the end i still didn't really know! weirdly, however, i did really enjoy his style of writing, just not so much the story and plot line. these are the passages i liked:







ok, freshly cut and varnished toes, and i post this specifically because it is REALLY really difficult to cut and paint your toenails with a pregnant stomach in the way!



and these are some pregnant pictures of me in my fullest hippo-like glory, i actually don't like how i look much, but i'm posting them anyways as a sort of affirmative/ acceptance practise move, also, look at the pretty nature, that too was devil's dyke in hove.

when pianos try to be guitars.

today was a bit of a bleugh day in tam's head. not quite sure how and when it happened, but some darkness settled in and before i knew it i found myself crying over nothing and everything. hey, it happens. crying must be done sometimes. :-)

andy encouraged me to going for walks with him on devil's dyke which is this amazingly beautiful nature area in hove. i reluctantly agreed (was much more in a; hide my head under my duvet kind of mood but went anyway) and took my new d80.

it was breathtaking, both nature and andy, look at him:


ilovehimsoincrediblymuchitcan'tquitebeexplained ...




and, after our trip to devil's dyke, i did finally manage to record a song! :0) this is me singing 'northern lad' by tori amos.





free mp3 can be downloaded here: www.willowing.org/music.html

oh! i want to buy a appalachian dulcimer! it'll be a string instrument i can play! (i can't play guitar anymore due to my RA hands you see).

xoxo

dream flight

sometimes i lie on our bed staring at the window and contemplate consciousness. it's in moments like that when i realise how much 'asleep while awake' i am. my mind in a trance like loop, repetitive automatic behaviour ensues and i miss out on really experiencing 'the now'. i wonder why it is so difficult to remain 'awake while awake', i wonder why habit, trance, sleeping while being awake is so much easier. yet, i am grateful for my glimpses of awareness, the short liberating connecting moments with 'the now'.

the now; it's where utter freedom lies. because surrendering to the now, in there; everything just is, no must should do be go find leave stay, there is only 'what is' devoid of judgement and difficulty, acceptance of now; that is the secret to life.

yet it is so difficult with this dominance of mind.

adyashanti, mooji, tolle, byron katie, they all point at the now, but i often find myself just looking at the finger that points, missing the actual experiencing of what they're pointing at.

***




growing the baby is going well. i've been cleared for gestational diabetes, which was a relief as my blood sugar was high on the first test (not an accurate test). i can't wait to meet this little guy, simply can't wait. i'm entering into week 33 now...

i've been busy with running the art journal course, creating art and ATCS, preparing world of whimsy DVDs and helping andy with mediation jobs.

some of my recent art;


dream flight


love


sunkissed

:)

more has happened and is going on but too tired to write about it all! :)

anyone who is also on twitter; follow me here, i'm more active there, as it's small little updates! :-)

xx

aww & aww

two sweet things!

1. lookit, andy was practising 'baby wearing' with one of my stuffed toys, ha ha!



2. my latest youtube video in which i create a painting for mark and judy jo as their 20th wedding anniversary :0)





xox

katjes

one of the first pictures i took with my new nikon d80. this orchid lives in our living room, still, charming, quiet, elegant. it knows how to 'just be'. it has such strength and beauty.


on the same window sill stands a lil family of whimsical statues. a man who used to have a stall in the jubilee market in covent garden used to sell them. i became obsessed by their simplicity and cuteness, had to have all of them. i once dropped one of the elephants whose ear broke off. terry ran off to get me a new one, he said something along the lines of; "i couldn't live with you not having another, to you, these things have souls". he was right. [i hope terry is ok]



to the left of the whimsical statue family stands a bunch of pussy willow branches (katjes in dutch), they were left over from a huge bunch of flowers i bought andy when he came back from lebanon after a 6 week break one day. they last and last and last.



andy, is in my heart and soul, etched there for eternity.



this rose appears lonely in front of our house, striking, standing out, in the middle of cars. it seems proud, head held high, statuesque.



hove, our magical street, with beautiful houses, trees and twilight mysticism.

***
♥

a big THANK YOU to those who have bought essentials or presents for our baby off our baby wish list. i feel so lucky, blessed and grateful. thank you.

big hugs.

warm rain

i've started to lie down in the empty bath and let the shower rain warm rain unto me. it feels incredibly safe. i'm not sure if this is pregnancy stuff, but the feeling is like being back in a womb environment, like a complete envelopment of warm. when you're in a normal bath, it's nice, but your head stays above the water (mostly) and there is no major splatter. this thing that i'm doing; lying down in empty bath and having warm rain splatter on top of me is totally different experience, i can do it for hours (but then feel guilty for the over the top water usage, so i'm not doing it for hours, ha).

warm. rain.

i am on the verge of entering into week 31 of pregnancy. that means that the baby is now approx 14-17 inches in length and that his eyes could be fully open (they are fused shut for a long period during pregnancy). if he decides to come out at 38 weeks, there are only another 8 weeks to go, if he comes at 40, 10 weeks! it's awesome and incredible and amazing to think he'll be coming out so soon.

part of me simply can't wait! another part of me can't quite believe it all still. there is a baby inside of me with an actual face, nose, hands, feet .. wtf? it's amazing and literally unbelievable. another part of me has all the usual worries; will he be ok, will the birth go fine? will he have down syndrome or another birth defect, etc!

also, when i look at this (baby in utero at 30 weeks):



i feel just a tad bit nervous at how narrow the vaginal canal seems compared to that melon of a head! ;))

my body needs more and more rest. i easily sleep 10-11 hours each night, easily. it's weird, because you really have a lot less time during the day. i keep not understanding 'where the time went' and then i remember; oh yes, i sleep like there is no tomorrow.

a friend of mine send me a pile of baby clothes! it's amazing, all his clothing requirements have been covered by what she sent through! the baby now has more clothes than me and andy together, lol. it's all so cute, all the little baby grows, hats, trousers, shirts, brain explosion stuff, of course.

some people have asked us if they can contribute something to the baby. as i'm worried people might buy more clothes (which we really don't need!), i've created a baby wish list!! if you'd like to send a little pressie for baby (or mummy, hee), feel free to have a browse on the wish list, which can be found here:

Tam & Andy's Baby Wish List.

:-)

any contributions would be deeply appreciated, obviously! :)

i am working hard on the awesome art journal course which commences this monday!! i get a lot of joy from creating the videos and sharing my creative process with people who are interested. to those who have signed up; a big deep thank you. registration is still open if people want to sign up!

i'm also incredibly chuffed by the fact that so many people have bought the world of whimsy course on DVD! i've now had to invest in a printer that prints onto DVD to cope with the demand. i feel blessed and lucky to be able to make a living out of art and teaching.

in other news; the weather here in the uk has been awesome. i am always surprised at what a difference a sunny day and blue sky can make!

hope everyone is having happy times too, wherever you are.

x