Thursday 28 April 2011

You are the Sky.

You are the Sky - close up 4

Hello babyloobas! (It's a new cute word I've invented :)) -- Soooo, we went camping and I started a 30 day vlog challenge which has birthed babies all over the youtube net. I haven't posted my vlogs here as I kept forgetting, but I shall post the camping ones here and link to my youtube account in case you'd like to follow all of them. I'm excited because I'll also be vlogging on my bday and on the day of the first scan of 2nd baby!

Here are the camping vlogs:

On the way there and setting up the new tent (I haven't camped since I was 18 Ha!)

Camping in somerset, day 1.

And day 2 - getting more and more exhausted and the journey home with a really good view of Stonehenge, which, oddly, is right by the side of the road!

If you want to follow the rest of my vlogs, go here:

and here is a picture of the tent set up:

Camping in Somerset

Also, look at how this funny digital overlap mistake came out. I really like it. The cam just did it by mistake:

Interesting Digital Weirdness


Above is a close up shot of my new painting, 'You are the Sky'. Full painting is here:

You are the Sky

(For sale, msg me if you're interested!)

I created this on wood which was prepared with clear gesso. I LOVE clear gesso, it really prepares the wood well and still shows the nice grain of the wood. Thank you Yolanda for sending the clear gesso to me as a present! :) The clear gesso has an awesome 'tooth'. The one I have isn't too grainy like my other non clear gesso. Really loving it!

Here are some more close ups of the painting:

You are the Sky - close up 2

You are the Sky - close up 5

You are the Sky - close up 1

Oh, also, I've been really intrigued and moved by this lady (see below) who's had a near death experience and describes so eloquently what happened to her during the death part. It totally moved me and gave me a lot of comfort and reassurance around death. :) Watch it, it's amazing! I'll only post the first part of the interview and links to the other 4. :)

vid 2:
vid 3:
vid 4:
vid 5:

Snugs and Hugs to you all. Feeling a lot of love today. :) xoxox

Wednesday 20 April 2011

On being an 'artist' and the relevance of that label.

To be or not?

Being an "artist". Well now, what does that mean?

This post is in response to one of Connie's posts which she wrote in response to one of Zom's posts over here. The title of Zom's post is: 'You don't have to be an artist to make art' and her post explores ideas around what it is that makes someone a "bona-fide, proper, real artist" (why I put this in brackets will become clear later) or not and also the fact that if you can or cannot call yourself an artist bears no relevance to if you can or cannot make art (correct me if I've interpreted your post wrongly Zom, this is how I understood it).

Interestinggggg! These ladies wrote about this a while ago and I wanted to write a response sooner, but ha, life got in the way, which in one way was good because it gave me more time to mull over this topic and boy did I mull. I mulled and mulled and mulled. And the question; 'what is an artist' or 'who is an artist' brought me to all sorts of deep philosophical levels which I intend to share with you here. Aren't you lucky? I know, right!? ;) You've been dying to hear my thoughts on this. ;P

So when I read both posts, the first thought that came to me was; "why do we care if we can call ourselves an artist or not?"

I do tend to call myself 'an artist' when someone asks me 'what I do for a living', but I mostly actually say that 'I do art'. Saying that I 'do art' somehow feels less limiting and more open to me.

But for some people the title 'artist' seems to hold great meaning, perhaps it is status, or it gives people permission to create art, or feel free around making art if they can say they are 'an artist'.

Ok, mh. Well, then I thought to myself: 'well, who do I think 'is allowed' or 'can call themselves an artist'? And for me, I figured that I could only define that, if I quantified, or qualified my own personal definition of the term 'artist'. What did I mean by 'artist'? Because this label (like many and most labels) doesn't have a finite definition. Sure, there will be something in Webster's dictionary on it, but this will be limiting. Individuals and cultures all over will have a different definition as to 'what an artist is or not'. I'm aware for instance that there are some cultures in Africa that consider everyone an artist from birth simply because babies produce and create from birth and so do toddlers albeit in ways that we in the West may not consider 'artful' or 'artistic'.

So you can only really label things after you've quantified/ qualified your label. Ie: I may define a builder as 'someone who builds houses or for a living' - someone else may have a much wider definition of what builders are.

Then, I thought, this is interesting, to me it's pretty clear who can or cannot call themselves a 'builder', but when it comes to 'artist' I have a much more murky definition. Ha ha! For me, you don't have to 'make a living out of art' to call yourself an artist.

But this brings me back to why we care so much about calling ourselves that? Why care? If you make art frequently or infrequently and it makes your heart fill with joy then that is just what you do. Do you have to call yourself an artist to justify to others what you do? To feel better about yourself? To give yourself permission? Or is just doing the art enough?

I really don't care if you think you are an 'artist' or not. I care about the art you make and how it makes you feel though. :) Also when you say: 'I am an artist' (or any other label for that matter), you seem to create a rather finite/ closed off definition of who you are.

You, whoever you are, are much more than 'just an artist'. That's why I like saying that I 'do art', rather than 'I am an artist' because I am also, or rather I also 'do' mothering, woman stuff, IT things, website stuff, cleaning things (sometimes, hee), singing things, music stuff, walking stuff, holiday stuff, sitting in the sun stuff, doing wife stuff etc etc.

Labeling myself as 'an artist', 'a woman' or 'a mother' is limiting to me. When I say I am 'a woman', what am I saying? Do I refer to my physical body only? Do I talk about my personality, my characteristic? More accurate would be: 'I am a female-bodied human with both male and female characteristics' (see I told you it would get really deep and philosophical, ha ha). And I can say that I am 'a mother now' but really, I was a mother (or had many mothering qualities) before I ever had a child.

My point being here that, labels, to me, aren't useful without being clear on how you yourself define your label. Also, we can argue endlessly over who defines that label the best, but that seems like a pointless exercise. Everyone will have a different definition, none are right or wrong, they just are, like the people who own the definitions. :) We all grow up or come from different backgrounds and even within a same culture we will define our labels differently. And this is ok to me. If you are going to 'fight' the world on how they define a label that you define differently you'll keep pretty busy for a while me thinks! Ha!

There are no finite definitions of labels somewhere dictated by a magic fairy in the sky. In my opinion, there is no ultimate truth. There is no ultimate truth on the matter of 'who is an artist, mother, woman, builder or not'. There are personal opinions on that one, and that is great. :)

So, it comes down to this for me:

When you want to label something or someone it's useful to first quantify/ qualify your label and be clear that this is *your* definition of said label.

Therefore; if you classify yourself an artist (and again; this is my opinion) then you are one as that is your definition of the term. If my definition and yours match is hardly relevant really. :-)

But mostly, for me, it isn't helpful to focus on how to define yourself with labels. Why limit the multi-faceted amazing person that you are? To me it's much more important to do art and let it fill your soul with joy, love and happiness and a sense of self-connection, presence and healing. Who cares what you label yourself as, to me you are a thousand things more than those few labels. Make art, be happy. :-)

Hug hug hug.

Friday 15 April 2011


You are Love
You are Love

Aloha lovely reader. :) How are you? I'm feeling quiet. Is that possible, to feel quiet? Like a silent sort of hibernation type thing? Just inwards stuff? Does that make sense? I wonder if it's related to the pregnancy. This pregnancy feels very different from Dylan. With Dylan I had no nausea and I had heaps of energy. With this one I want to sleep 12 hours each night and just sit quietly doing very little all day long and I'm only in week 10! I just feel like I want to sleep all the time. Sleep or sit and do minor tasks. Last pregnancy I only felt like this in the last trimester. Odd.

So yes. All feels quiet and introspective. And it seems to be the case around me as well. Even my inbox is quiet! Ha ha. It must be some planets aligning one way or another.

Anyhoo. Last weekend we did lots of fun things with Dylan. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! We went to the park and playground with him on Saturday. He had so much fun and he just wouldn't sit still. He goes exploring everywhere, including the bushes! Lookit:

dylan in the bushes

We also put up his very first paddling pool which he loved:

dylan in paddling pool

And we went to Stanmer Park which is stunning:

dylan on daddy's neck 1

I laid in the daisies blissing out!

And here are some daddy & Dylan piccies which make my heart leap and my face smile:

dylan and daddy giggles

dylan and daddy giggles

And lastly, pretty pics of nature:

beautiful leave caught by the sun

spring buds

pretty plants in nursery

So, I shall go back to my hibernation time and preparations for my digital art course.

Big hugs x

Thursday 7 April 2011

The day is full of love

Well now, I even impress myself! Another blog post 3 days after my last! Scooore! :)

So today is a day full of love. Mostly from the sun and the sky, it is SO pretty outside, it can't not fill your day with love, look at this:

I could stare at spring buds against a blue sky forever.

I took the sunshine as a sign to go out and shop today. Yes yes, sunshine means go buy stuff girl! ;) I went out bright and early and it was just lovely browsing around town, everyone was so friendly and chatty, I was so friendly and chatty, it was like everyone, wherever I went, was my friend. Spring really does bring out the best in people.

So I bought tons of liquorice. I had cravings for liquorice in my pregnancy with Dylan and the craving has come back, so I'm now set for the whole pregnancy with many pounds of liquorice. Ha ha.

I also got lots of other bits and bobs done and bought me some trousers too! It was a productive, chatty and blue-skyed morning.

Oh and lookit what I created yesterday! I started learning screenflow, an awesome screen-recording & editing program and filmed myself creating some digital art and made an art video out of it!

If the youtube vid doesn't work for you try the blip version:

I both enjoy creating digital work AND the editing a lot. The program for editing really allows for making awesome tutorials. I'm so pleased! Now I know for sure that I can create a quality course on photoshop and digital art! yay!

And I've just been near tears and so inspired by this man's kindness:

I always feel SO touched when people care like this for others, for me that really touches on the interconnectedness of us all. I love that he cared. I loved that he did what he did I love that he helped. Amazing.

So, that was my list of love for the day.

Stay groovy my people.


Monday 4 April 2011



You are love. You are what exists before all stories. ~Byron Katie


We went away for the weekend to Portsmouth which is near an awesome farm called Manor Farm which sits in an awesome foresty park. Manor farm had baby duckies (eeeee). There was 1 mummy ducky with 15 (seriously) baby duckies. My head dazzled at the thought of having 15 babies. Bow down to the mummy ducky. And Portsmouth had a pier with a carousel. I love carousels. Particularly this one as it had pretty horses and colours.


The weekend was intended to relax and unwind me, but that was easier said than done as things like temperature, noise, type of mattress and Dylan all influenced my nightly rest and so I came home pretty much less relaxed, but definitely having had fun. :-)

Dylan had fun too. He particularly loved swimming in the hotel pool and exploring trees near the farm, also, picking up stones, attempting to walk through puddles and befriending all the 'oofs' that came his way. He also loves sitting in the front of the car, on daddy's seat, pretending to 'drive' the car. A real boy's boy, apparently. I find it fascinating that 'boy qualities' appear so early in children even though their parents don't tend to enforce any particular gender behaviour upon them. He just likes cars, already. Mh.

I've been feeling sick. I was nauseous before due to the noro virus, but the sickie feeling has lingered on and I'm now thinking it's proper pregnancy sickness, which is weird as I didn't have any pregnancy sickness with Dylan at all and there was none of it before the noro virus either, so I think it's weird that I should now all of a sudden have pregnancy sickness, but it also can't still be the noro virus either. It's like the noro virus 'kick-started' the nausea and then my stomach went: oh yeaeahah, we're pregnant so we should be sickie. I'm not enjoying it. I'm not full on 'needing to vomit' sick all the time, but no food seems attractive or interesting and it's important to get all the right nutrients in the first trimester, of course. So I'm force-feeding myself, but I often end up eating 'crap food' which I think I can 'keep in'. Like potato wedges or something.

Anyhoo. Other than that. Things are still up and down with Dylbee. I have wonderfully amazing moments with him as well as totally exhausting ones.

Andy and I were musing on why I find it so difficult when Dylan is 'difficult' as Andy doesn't enjoy it, but it doesn't zap him from energy like it does me.

Well, of course there is the fact that

1. I am pregnant in first trimester so I'm already totally exhausted anyway
2. I have rheumatoid arthritis. One of the major symptoms of this disease is fatigue.
3. I am still fighting off 2 or 3 viruses over the last month.
4. I generally don't sleep well as I attend to Dylbee (though he hardly wakes in the night anymore)

So those factors are there anyway. But, if you look at how I've always run my life, I have always wanted ease and comfort in my life. If something doesn't go 'my way' and it's causing me undue extra effort, I figure out a way to sort it. I remember as a child (probably being 10 or something) I used to sleep in a high sleeper and if I wanted to read in bed before sleeping I only had the main light that was on. It started to bug me that I had to actually get up out of the high sleeper to switch off the light every night so I devised this system which included a piece of string and little nails in the wall which basically enabled me to remain in bed and simply pull the string and switch off the light without getting out of bed. Ease, comfort and efficiency. I've always loved that in life.

When I can't sort out a problem that makes me really uncomfortable and uneasy I get really down about it and it drains me.

And this is what is happening with Dylbee at the moment. There are several things he wants to or does not want to do like: he does not want to sit in the car seat for instance, yet we have to go home, he then screams and arches his back etc. And it's real high energy and there is very little I can do about it, OR I have to give it all of my energy to sort it out. And so because there isn't an easy solution (well there can be in the form or shouting/ hitting but of course we don't do that) it makes me tired and down.

But it's odd. Within the span of 1 day there'll be 3/4 high energy annoying moments and then we came home this afternoon and Dylan was an absolute lovely delight. So delightful in fact that I'd have another 3 of him.

So it's jumping from one end of the spectrum to the other. Like a seesaw. Ha. But through all of that, there is an undeniable force of love for the little man. A fire which I know will never burn out. Never.

I am loving how Andy is seeing and taking all this, he's saying that this baby experience, having Dylan, is making him feel more connected to humanity. He keeps saying 'this is what all the people before us have gone through' and it makes him feel connected. He's pretty amazing, my husband. :)

In other news. I had the first appointment with my new midwife for baby nr 2 last week and she was super lovely. Last time round I was pushed from one midwife to the next so none of them really committed to me, but this one is sticking with me throughout. I love that. According to her my due date is November 9th. :) I have the official dating scan on the 4th May. :)

It feels kinda strange to do all the maternity stuff and pregnancy stuff again. But also exciting. :)

Of course, it also feels daunting. If one can be this difficult, what is 2 going to do to me? Ha ha. Ah well, we shall see!

On the course front, 21 secrets has started and it's going so wonderfully. There is such a wealth of information on this course, it's super cool. You can still sign up if you haven't already. (Thank you all so much to those who have already signed up through my link, it means LOADS to me! :D).

Also, my M3 course is now available on DVD/ self study and that is going well as well! Check out HERE, if you're interested in signing up.

I am working on a new digital course which will include basics on photoshop and PDF making. People have been asking me for a while now to teach photoshop and digital art so that will be my first next course, though there are other courses in the pipeline too! More on those soon.

Oh, if you want to keep up to date with my art and products, you can sign up to my newsletter HERE.

And I am on facebook HERE and my tweetsies are over HERE.

Alright lovelies. Thank you for reading and commenting, though I can't always reply individually know that I relish in your comments and love and that I love you. <3

ferris wheel :)

ferris wheel :)


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