Tuesday 21 July 2009

a me update

i was contemplating going to bed instead of writing an update, but i was feeling inspired and filled with love for people and wanted to write, to connect.

i don't have pics of the wedding thing just yet (the ones that were taken, let's just say; i ain't impressed with how i look but hey, i shall post them anyway, later) and i have no pics of my latest art journal entries either, yet, need to scan them still, so it's gonna be all text, apart from this picture:



which just made me smile so much. i've said it before, but i'll say it again; i ♥ lolcatz a lot a lot. :-)

i sit here with really tired eyes because i didn't sleep much last night. not because of 'the wedding', but because the baby was moving a lot less than he had in the week before and that can sometimes be a sign of something gone wrong. luckily my sturdy heartbeat monitor said all was fine, so i was semi reassured but i was still confused by the decreased sense of activity so i couldn't sleep very well.

consequently i was quite a bit spaced out when going to the town hall to say the vows. the ritual/ tradition, bemused me, yet unexpectedly moved andy. i have deeper underlying issues with the concept of marriage and the wording they use to 'bind' you. like; 'i promise', to me, that's a silly thing to say, 'i promise to love you' sounds hollow and empty to me, however, i WANT to love and cherish you and i do love and cherish feels completely different. 'promise' sounds like it's something you do because you should but you may not necessarily want to, while saying; 'i want to', sounds authentic to me! (should've written our own vows after all oh well).

anyhoo, we did it, and i'm happy we did it, i just get triggered around traditional/ ritual stuff, something around autonomy and authenticity for me! :)

afterwards we went to food for friends with the two witnesses (hugh & trish) and spent ages there, it was lovely.

as rho and alix have suggested i can now be addressed as: 'Lady (or "my Ladyship") Oddkidd' (andy's online screenname), alternatively; 'Mrs Mason', or simply; 'Yo Tam'. ;) (Empress or Goddess tam works too! ;).

i've entered into week 37 of pregnancy, that means 4 WEEKS left (if he decides to come on time), i'm incredibly excited! the nct (antenatal) classes are awesome, really clear about all the pros and cons of all the decisions you need to make. today they discussed being induced and that doesn't look like fun AT ALL.

i feel really prepared and not scared of any potential pain, just want all to go well for the baby and aim to work together with my body as much as possible. i sewed my big huge tent shirt together yesterday so that i have the option to feel as comfortable as possible (but i think i'll probably tear it off anyway). i might also use the birthing pool a bit to help with possible pain relief.

i've written our birth plan (really detailed) and a list for andy with stuff for him to do during labour. i don't think there isn't anything we haven't prepared for.

so yes, ready to welcome new baby into this crazy old world! :)

i've been very moved by some online activity and the connections made here, i just want to express my gratitude for that, at times, - it's probably hormones! (don't blame on the sunshine, don't blame on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the HORMONES) - i go round all my sites, twitter, facebook, lj, ning etc and just observe all the buzzing of the people and i am overwhelmed by so much love and emotion. :-) and gratitude, just a lot of gratitude.

7 comments:

  1. Hiya Sweet Tam,
    Well How about "Mom" for a name, short for Mrs.Oddkidd Mason. lol Actually ya can be Lady Goddess Tam Empress MOM. Any way we call ya, whatcha ya actually gonna be is a AWESOME MOM! Ya Wee One will bring ya so much joy. Ya've enjoyed every moment of this beautiful journey and ya've allowed us to watch ya blossom and the Wee One grow each month. I am honored to know such an honest & hummbled lady such as yaself. Ya make each day bright by sharing ya world with all of us. I am praying all continues to go well with ya, andy & the Wee One.
    Love & Giant Hugs~

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  2. It is so exiting to follow your journey to become a mom (well you already are a mom).
    I also had a lot of birth plans for the labour (music, water etc.), but everything got a lot different (much better).
    I just walked the whole time and just breathed calmly and yoga-like and my husband couldn´t talk to me during contractions. But I talked A LOT while walking ha,ha. I have had three births that where all amazing.
    Nothing can compare the overwhelming and happy feeling of having your baby in your arms! Have a great day and don´t worry about your baby not mowing so much, it is just a little less space in there. (You can drink some juice or soda or have a chocolate and the baby will move after a short while ;) Hugs Annika

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  3. Congrats on marrying the love of your life tam! =D So much excitment in your life....it just gets better every day huh? Much love and best wishes to you and your little family. Im waiting patiently for wedding/ baby pictures....just so you know, lol :)

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  4. hi sweetie, do try and get some rest and don't worry so much, you know everything will be alright. Congrats on finally tying the knot- oops! probably shouldn't use that term :-)
    as the for hormone excuse, yes, feel free to use it, it will work great for you when you get to be my age too, lol!
    This is a great time in your life, have fun!
    xoxo betty

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  5. It sounds like you are surrounded by so much love and awesomeness right now, Lady Goddess Mrs. Tam. Congrats!
    I had ambivalent, conflicting feelings about the traditions surrounding the "wedding thing" too...but then part of me also really wanted it. In the end I pictured it as drawing a protective circle around us (legally, financially etc), but couldn't wait to get the "big day" over with and get on with all the lovely afterwards.

    My love to you and baby, and wishes for a wonderful home stretch. <3

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  6. I just stumbled across your site. Your artwork is really nice. Looks like delivery is not far away. Best wishes to the three of you!

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  7. thanks for all the comments everyone!! :)

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Thank you for connecting with me. I appreciate you! <3

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