Friday, 21 August 2009

dylan day 4 - breasts, cabbage leaves & (grand) parents

so, turns out that dylan has vampire genes, like me! he likes being awake at night and asleep during the day, we are SO compatible! ;) andy and i are going to do more sleeping during the day now too, although, my parents have just arrived, so won't be *just* sleeping.

it was an emotional reunion, i hadn't seen them in a year or so, both are in awe of dylan and they brought so many presents from friends/ family in holland! :) i feel so blessed.

they're booked in a hotel 5 minutes away from our house, so that is perfect, they're exploring brighton & hove now, while andy and i are having and have had some sleeps. dylan didn't sleep much at all last night, so we're trying to catch up, he's sleeping lots today though.

today my milk came in (or so i think!), my dad, comedian that is (!), saw me and went; "wow, hellooooo pamela anderson!" (lol), "more like anna nicole", i thought to myself!! my breasts were an average C cup to start with, then during pregnancy they ballooned to around a D cup and now, since he's born, they've mellooned to size of melon like bowling balls!

today, they're rounder and harder and this seems to be milk coming in, but i can't get anything to really 'squirt' from them yet. he seems to get plenty of something coming out of them though so i'm happy. nipples are hurting quite a bit now, but i have cream, and they only hurt when he first starts sucking, not when he's into it, so you really just have to bear the first bit and then it's all fine afterwards. it's a very peaceful and beautiful process, breastfeeding, it's so comforting to know you're nurturing this new being.

i have tried the cabbage leaves today, which looks hilarious! they are meant to soothe engorged breasts and help the milk come down i believe. for me it had a relaxing effect because it looked funny! and they felt nice and cool.

ok, nuf about breasts and cabbages.

i'm feeling quite emotional in many ways. i start crying on and off, mostly because i'm so overwhelmed by the beauty and love for and of this creature, and then a fear sets in, like; ohmygod, there is this amazing love now, which also opens doors to; what if something goes wrong, what if he gets harmed, and just the thought of that makes me weep with such despair. so this is where i try to be zen and tolle about it, just 'being with what is', but i think maternal and biological instinct, sleep deprivation and hormones being whacked around make it hard to be all ohm about this. so, i'm just trying to be with the fear as well. i hear this emotional turmoil is temporary so i'm good. i'm not in any way not coping with the emotions, just wish the fear wouldn't grab me as hard sometimes.

i've also really noticed "the force of the mother instinct" (FMI for short), we went out on day 2 for a little walk, and suddenly 2 drunken guys appeared and i was in a complete panic! andy was carrying dylan in a sling and i was like shouting instructions at him like a nazi on speed; "andy, stop, NO, we go THIS way, NOW!" etc, the FMI is mammoth, it's like, as you know, i practise nonviolent communication, but at this point, anyone even vaguely threatening the life of this child will get violently attacked with knives, sticks and other incredibly sharp tools. there is just nothing that can stop me, there is no rationale in this, there is just 1 mission; protect child at all costs. yep yep; as i said; the FMI is not to be messed with. ha ha.

anyhoo, here is ... drumdroll, some of the DADDY FORCE, thanks col () for requesting to see daddy! these were taken on day 2, right after i had nearly killed the 2 drunken guys! ;)

dylan & daddy

dylan & daddy

dylan & daddy

and here another little twitvid of dylan on his day 4 in life:

i just want to say that i am not able to respond personally to everyone's beautiful messages (i do here and there if and when i have a moment, but overall i don't have much time!), just know that i do read every single msg, well wish, comment and LOVE that you guys are following the development of our child this way. i am deeply appreciative of everyone showing interest, sending love, care, support, just can't express it personally. big hugs, love to all of you. :)


  1. LOL! That was a wonderful post!


  2. He is totaly gorgeous, handsome little man :)

    Best wishes all ~ elaine x

  3. Aww his cute little face! It seems like he's already changed so much since day one!

  4. Excellent post Tam. The feeling is just the "baby blues" it will pass, but remember if the feelings are lingering speak to your midwife, its different for everyone. They should go, mine hit on day 4 and lasted a day or so, maybe a bit longer. I would suddenly start crying at anything! Its your hormones adjusting. Breasts, yes suddenly you have superpowers and are able to open the front door before you get in the gate!!!LOL

    Remember, what you resist persists, just accept and go with it and it will pass. Dylan will be fine, and I know what you mean, I am still on hyper alert, and mine is now 14 years old, I don't think once you are a parent you ever stop! Much love Beverley ♥♥♥

  5. luv the first pic of them together, so sweet! when to we get to see you? i'm so proud of you breastfeeding. i did for 13 months. he only had two ear ache vs the horror stories of other children having never ending ones and ending up with tubs in their ears. he also spat up far less than my friends baby at she had just before me who was fed formula. prevents cancer and MANY other benefits for you and him. his will be so much healthier and intelligent, you are giving him a great gift, a good start in life! yep, you can change his life already! amazing

  6. CONGRATULATIONS TAM AND ANDY, wow, your son is soooo beautiful, so so beautiful, well done you guys, more so to Tam for all that pushing hee hee. Can't say I know exactly how you feel coz I had an emergency C section, thank goodness lol.
    I know all about the huge mellons, painful they were for me! Also the bit about the knives and sticks etc..., yep, I'm with ya on that one sugar :o)
    oh, and the times when you can cry just like that, does get better, but like someone else said chat to your midwife if they linger, your body is still going through the mill not just physically with big balloons to support but your hormones will be TOTALLY UP DA WAALLLL. Like you say hun, he's all worth it xxx Big Kiss to baby Dylan xxx take care Tam, hugs to you all, love Jo (sweetisobella on Youtube) :o) mmmwwwaaaaa xxx

  7. What an absolutely beautiful baby! Congratulations, parents, grandparents!

  8. What a gorgeous child, congratulations x

  9. Congratulations on your beautiful boy! Mine will turn 15 tomorrow and I still feel the same way sometimes... heheh Sleep all you can and take tons of pictures! :o)
    Hugs from California

  10. Congratulations on gorgeous little baby doll. Just love watching photos of cute babies. Its my favourite web page so far.



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