a me update

i was contemplating going to bed instead of writing an update, but i was feeling inspired and filled with love for people and wanted to write, to connect.

i don't have pics of the wedding thing just yet (the ones that were taken, let's just say; i ain't impressed with how i look but hey, i shall post them anyway, later) and i have no pics of my latest art journal entries either, yet, need to scan them still, so it's gonna be all text, apart from this picture:



which just made me smile so much. i've said it before, but i'll say it again; i ♥ lolcatz a lot a lot. :-)

i sit here with really tired eyes because i didn't sleep much last night. not because of 'the wedding', but because the baby was moving a lot less than he had in the week before and that can sometimes be a sign of something gone wrong. luckily my sturdy heartbeat monitor said all was fine, so i was semi reassured but i was still confused by the decreased sense of activity so i couldn't sleep very well.

consequently i was quite a bit spaced out when going to the town hall to say the vows. the ritual/ tradition, bemused me, yet unexpectedly moved andy. i have deeper underlying issues with the concept of marriage and the wording they use to 'bind' you. like; 'i promise', to me, that's a silly thing to say, 'i promise to love you' sounds hollow and empty to me, however, i WANT to love and cherish you and i do love and cherish feels completely different. 'promise' sounds like it's something you do because you should but you may not necessarily want to, while saying; 'i want to', sounds authentic to me! (should've written our own vows after all oh well).

anyhoo, we did it, and i'm happy we did it, i just get triggered around traditional/ ritual stuff, something around autonomy and authenticity for me! :)

afterwards we went to food for friends with the two witnesses (hugh & trish) and spent ages there, it was lovely.

as rho and alix have suggested i can now be addressed as: 'Lady (or "my Ladyship") Oddkidd' (andy's online screenname), alternatively; 'Mrs Mason', or simply; 'Yo Tam'. ;) (Empress or Goddess tam works too! ;).

i've entered into week 37 of pregnancy, that means 4 WEEKS left (if he decides to come on time), i'm incredibly excited! the nct (antenatal) classes are awesome, really clear about all the pros and cons of all the decisions you need to make. today they discussed being induced and that doesn't look like fun AT ALL.

i feel really prepared and not scared of any potential pain, just want all to go well for the baby and aim to work together with my body as much as possible. i sewed my big huge tent shirt together yesterday so that i have the option to feel as comfortable as possible (but i think i'll probably tear it off anyway). i might also use the birthing pool a bit to help with possible pain relief.

i've written our birth plan (really detailed) and a list for andy with stuff for him to do during labour. i don't think there isn't anything we haven't prepared for.

so yes, ready to welcome new baby into this crazy old world! :)

i've been very moved by some online activity and the connections made here, i just want to express my gratitude for that, at times, - it's probably hormones! (don't blame on the sunshine, don't blame on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the HORMONES) - i go round all my sites, twitter, facebook, lj, ning etc and just observe all the buzzing of the people and i am overwhelmed by so much love and emotion. :-) and gratitude, just a lot of gratitude.

♥