Thursday, 17 May 2012

Bonkers, it's all bonkers

Life is bonkers. I'm going bonkers. Dylan is going bonkers. Elliot is on his way to being bonkers. The only semi-sane person in the mix is Andy, although, one could argue he's going bonkers too because he's suddenly buying a shitload of plants for the patio and he can't seem to stop.

Dylan is going through a phase where he does a lot of whining. That is true whining, not actual crying or screaming or shouting, no, it's whining. He makes a noise that grates at the insides of your bones. He whines over everything, his shoe comes off; waaaah, he spills some milk on his t-shirt; waaaaah, he can't have a second biscuit; waaaah. It's like he's an hormonal toddler on the brink of puberty.

He also does this thing where he likes to poke me, touch me, hang on me, hang off me, fall onto me whenever he can, but particularly when I'm feeding Elliot. I know, it's obvious; he wants attention and love and connection, but he's asking for it in the most irritating way by falling on me, poking me etc. And if you are sleep-deprived as it is; I have very, very little tolerance for it all.  I'm a 'battered mum' with all the bruises on my body! He actually responds quite well to me redirecting his 'way of asking', but it's relentless and I have to keep 'correcting' him and doing that is so hard when you're so tired already.

All I want/ need is some time off, a break, quiet, peace, sleep time ... and that's just not happening at the moment.

So, Andy and I have been planning a holiday. A proper one with actual sunshine, a pool and childcare support. I haven't had a proper holiday since May 2009 (just before Dylan was born). It'll be end of June/ July. I can't. wait. :D


In the mean time, I have been keeping up with the faces challenge, sort of. The crazy thing is, my brain is so foggy that I started to lose count and also, I couldn't remember which face was done on which day, ha ha. But anyhoo, I'm still going fairly strong with it. I combined a whole lot of them together in one image, lookit:

All my faces so far

And I've since done another 2:

New face and new journal spread in Dylan/ Elliot journal :)

Dear Elliot, create your own fairy tale.

These last 2 were done in my Elliot & Dylan journal. The last one of those 2 is based on a lesson by the awesome Jane Davenport! I'm really enjoying working in this journal, it feels SO meaningful. I love writing down all the meaningful 'wisdom' messages and truly hope that one day they're going to actually use them and find the journal amusing, wise and perhaps a little helpful! :) More on the this journal soon. I'll be doing a video about it (if I can find the time).

Also, when and if I have the time I'm trying to work on a new, more in depth painting, and like my other {almost pirate} girl, it's one of those paintings that is taunting me and not pleasing me. Argh. I still haven't finished the {almost pirate} girl and now this painting also looks like it might be a 'doomed' one. But, I'm setting myself the aim NOT to start a new (big) painting until both these guys are finished - somehow.

So, the new painting went from this:

29 Faces Portrait
to this:

Not sure about this one. Liking it more than where it was but considering starting over completely with this one. Thoughts?

And, though I like where the shading is going, I keep not being happy with her face, expression and face shape. In her former incarnation she looked too male-esque for me and in this incarnation, her eyes look a bit dead-ish and her general expression a bit meh.  So much for silencing the inner critic huh? Ha ha.

Oh and lastly, I'm still up to date with my Life Book May calendar:

This one is much fun to do. :)


I've been working hard on re-designing my site and it's giving me small little seizures. I'm using the Wordpress software, and it's great on many levels, but some of the coding is annoying and irritating and doesn't do what I tell it to do. I really really don't like coding and web design. It's not that I can't do it. It's just SO tedious and time-consuming. Though, they do seem to have plugins for about every single action on the face of the earth, haha. Which is giving me an idea actually!

Anyway, I shall leave you with some senses shared:

Reading: 'Let's Pretend this Never Happened' - Jenny Lawson (best book EVER)
Feeling: So tired
Hearing: Iron & Wine - The Trapeze Swinger
Needing: Peaceful Quiet
Tasting: Pepsi Max
Loving: Source/ Spirit for allowing this life beautiful even if difficult.

Ha ha!


  1. Hang on in there Tam! Dylan's whining will go away with time..! All kids of his age do it, even if there's no sibling. I hope you do find time to relax

    And... your faces are always fabulous!

    Greetings and courage from Greece

  2. Can't Hubby take the kids out for a whole day, so you can have some piece and quiet and get all the rest you need so you can charge your batteries again :)
    I remember it was a bless when my Hubby did that, then it was so much easier to cope afterwards :D
    You have to take good care of yourself so you can take good care of your beautiful boys :D

    So love your art, it's fantastic :D

    /Inge :)

  3. Oh Tam, I remember so well when Kiki used to be in the hanging off my clothes, dragging herself along beside me every step I took. I started feeling quite claustrophobic! The Great news, is every stage will pass! :) Just when you start getting used to the current stage, it shifts again into something different and new. Even the whining will improve. Well done for being so patient and explaining, teaching, all the Time. He'll eventually get it. :o)
    *I'm* excited about your holiday, even though I'm not going! :) It sounds Much earned!! Enjoy!
    Love from Rachel Thomas.

  4. Oh sweet Tam. If only I lived closer. I would happily LOVE to help. I know exactly what you're going through. I had 3 kids under 3 and have never felt so tired before. The year my 3rd child was born was the most tiring year of my life. Back then if I got a shower then I had had a good day. Lol. I do miss my kids being so young but I sure don't miss being so tired. Keep your chin up lovely Tam. Things will get easier, I promise. Hugs to you sweet friend, Kyles xoxo

  5. Oh, poor you. I know how you feel, the tiredness the fed-up-ness but at least you now have a nice holiday to look forward to - light at the end of the tunnel!

    Keep doing your art as I find that it's the thing that keeps me going on the rough days.

    You're gonna be ok and you're doing so well.

    Take care

  6. Poor thing! I hear ya on being sleep deprived! I just have bad insomnia, not little ones.

    I'd say leave the painting alone for a few days and come back to it. The challege doesn't say they all need to be finished!

    Also, I love coding, so if you have a clear vision design-wise, maybe I can take over, ease the stress a bit?

  7. I think a holiday is a great idea! SO many moms seem to feel guilty for taking a bit of time to themselves/time off. But you need it! I'm so glad you're taking this healthy (and fun!) step for yourself and for Andy. And way to put up with poking! I know that for me, incessant poking is one of the quickest ways to trample my patience into the dirt. Clearly, I will have to learn to get over this. ;)

    Your art, as always, is amazing. I marvel that you are turning out this beautiful pieces in just a handful of minutes. Wowza.

  8. awe, Tam hang in there!! It will get better.. you will get used to it.. and then you know what.. it'll all change again! lol! The best advice is to keep on painting! Enjoy your hols too..xx


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